PHOTO BY SHARON WALDRON
A GOOD LIFE TO THE VERY END
Think ahead to prepare yourself to age well.
by Catherine Gannon Taintor
September 2022
As we baby boomers age, life will change for us. Physical and mental decline is inevitable. The question is how do we prepare ourselves for physical and mental decline in the last stage of our lives?
Physically, we may gradually become less mobile. Little by little, we may also lose control of our balance. This increases the likelihood of falls. Lastly, we may have incontinence problems.
Mentally, short-term memory problems may increase. Then again they may not. According to the NIH National Institute on Aging, dementia is not part of the normal aging process. Many adults live into their nineties without developing dementia. However, the likelihood of contracting Alzheimer’s dementia increases with age.
Fear of memory loss can affect your daily well-being. It can make us hide symptoms and avoid talking about them with family and doctors. This can delay a diagnosis and support.
These four medical conditions, immobility, instability, incontinence, and impaired intellect/memory, are called the “geriatric giants.” They contribute to a loss of independence and an inability to live without help.
LOSS OF INDEPENDENCE
The number one fear for aging adults is loss of independence. (I live in fear of my kids taking charge of my life. One of my sons’ will be serving me BBQ pulled pork and the other will be dying my hair purple.)
We want to make decisions for ourselves. When do I want to go to bed? How long will I stay in pajamas today? What will I have for lunch today? In addition, we want to come and go as we please. When we visit family and friends, how long we stay is up to us. Sooner or later, our health declines and independence is almost impossible. Gradually, we will need to accept help with shopping, housekeeping, home repairs, yard work, transportation, and financial tasks.
We need to come up with a loose plan now of how we want to live when decline makes it difficult for us to live independently without help. Where do we want to live? How will we enlist help? And what do we care about most in life?
WHERE DO WE WANT TO LIVE?
There are many options. We can stay in our home. Another idea is to move in with family or move closer to family. Still another idea is to relocate to a naturally occurring retirement community.
Most of us want to stay in our own homes as we age. According to a National Poll on Healthy Aging, 88% of adults between 50 and 80 years of age think it is important to age at home. There are several reasons why we want to stay in our own homes:
- We know our neighbors.
- Our doctors know us and our medical history
- The car practically drives itself to the grocery store, hairdresser, and pizza place
- We have memories attached to the place where our children grew up.
If you would like to stay in your own home:
- Make a list of in-home help providers.
- Conduct a yearly safety review.
- Consider modifying your home to make it more age-friendly.
If you are open to moving:
- Explore downsizing
- Consider moving closer to a family member.
- Move to a Naturally Occurring Retirement Community (NORC). These neighborhoods aren’t specifically designed for seniors. However, they have a lot of coordinated care and support.
HOW WILL WE ENLIST HELP?
- Hire a home health aide
- Depend on help from nearby family or friends.
- Rely on elder services offered in your community.
WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT MOST IN LIFE?
Is it spending time with loved ones? Is it continuing to work or pursuing an interest? What are the physical and mental limitations I need to overcome to continue to work or pursue an interest? How can I keep enjoying the company of my loved ones?
Talk it out with a friend or a family member. We need to tell them what kind of care we prefer. And we also need to listen. It may be difficult for an adult child or close friend to talk about our health declining. Still, it is an important subject to share with them.
THINGS WE CAN DO NOW TO PREPARE.
Mobility problems
Cause: Arthritis, osteoporosis, hip fracture, and Parkinson’s disease are common causes.
Result: Eventual inability to walk freely and easily–important for independence and well-being
Action Plan: Exercise and physical activity
Loss of balance control
Cause: Inner ear problems, vision problems, or loss of feeling in our feet and ankles
Result: Falls
Action Plan:
- Tai chi, yoga, dance, strength exercises, and stretching
- Use assistive devices to reduce our risk of falling
- Modify home. Add lighting, remove scatter rugs, and install handrails. etc.
- Talk to a doctor about our personal fall risks
Alzheimer’s & dementia
Cause: Age, gender, family history, bumps on the head
Result: Memory loss, confusion, wandering and getting lost, repeating questions, personality and behavior changes, etc
Action Plan:
Quit smoking, exercise, and don’t isolate yourself. The Lancet says 35% of dementia could be eliminated by targeting lifestyle risk factors such as smoking, exercise, and staying socially active.
Cognitive neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf suggests ways to keep your brain young:
- Read fiction—let your mind wander into another world
- Do complex puzzles with others
- Walk and daydream
- Change the way you listen to music. Listen closely
- Practice observing yourself and your impact on others
BUCKET LIST
Write a bucket list of dreams that you want to fulfill while you still can.
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Skydive
- Go on a river cruise
- Visit all the national parks
- Go on a senior cycling bike tour
FREE ONLINE RESOURCE TO HELP PLAN
There is a free website to help you plan for health problems as you age: hospitalizations, falls, memory loss, etc. It includes a finance section that helps us understand what Medicare, state agencies, and long-term insurance will pay for and what our out-of-pocket expenses might include.